WOW. I can't believe it's been close to a month since my last post. My apologies!
So today's topic: what holds you back? All of my clients know about their "saboteur," "inner critic," "gremlin"...it goes by so many names! And gadzooks, they're ugly critters. But they're not you, which is vital to know. Your saboteur/gremlin/inner critic/whatever is a result of so many "shoulds" that have been heaped on over a lifetime by family, friends, bosses, culture, media, etc. "You should look this way." "You should have this much money." "You shouldn't want that." Slowly, over time, your essential, higher self got covered up by those shoulds, and your saboteur--who takes its orders directly from the land of Should--was born.
Regardless of its name, or what your particular version looks like, we all have this sabotoging voice inside that sometimes whispers, sometimes screams, sometimes beats us up internally. Its most important jobs? To keep us "safe" (in its perspective), to maintain the status quo (at all costs), and to keep us unempowered.
Here's the "safe" part. Imagine yourself as a small child. One day, you toddle over to an outlet on the wall, stick your finger partway inside, and OUCH! You get a shock! The next time you toddle over, a protective voice inside your head says, "Stay away from that! You'll get hurt like last time if you don't!" This voice helped us all navigate the tumultuous terrain of growing up, but the problem is, once we grew into adulthood and were perfectly capable of making those "safety" calls on our own, that voice never went away. In fact, the older we got, and the more capable we got, the more dramatic and loud it got. (Capability scares it, you see.) So, does something like this sound familiar? "Who am I to think I could have that career/relationship/ place to live/etc.? Last time I applied for a new position/asked someone out/looked at my finances, it all went terribly and all I got was more stuck, so I might as well not even try...blah blah blah." That, my friends, is your saboteur in overdrive, holding you back.
And how about that "status quo" part? "Well, my job's okay. I mean, who am I to want more when so many have so little? So my boss is kind of a jerk, and the hours really are grueling, and I don't have any balance in the rest of my life...at least I don't have to go through the stress and rejection of looking for a new job. Even though what's here now isn't great, it's good enough...blah blah blah." Hello, gremlin!
Oh yes, and "unempowered." As long as your saboteur is operating in stealth mode, driving the bus of your life and whizzing right past your higher self time and time again, then you, my friend, are unempowered in your life.
So what to do? Step 1: bring that sucker out into the light. Saboteurs/gremlins/inner critics LIKE the cover of darkness. They do their best work there. So start listening. Really pay attention to the internal dialogue that goes on throughout your days. What are the circumstances that cause your gremlin to come out in force? When does it, in its uber-sneaky way, whisper so quietly you can barely hear it, but its there nonetheless? And what happens to YOU when it shows up?
Becoming aware of this inner voice and how it holds you back is the first step toward empowerment, because when you become aware of it, then you can be at choice about it. Awareness brings the ability to choose something different, either in the moment or next time, and that's a sure sign you're on the road to the fantastic life and incredible YOU that are waiting.
So today's topic: what holds you back? All of my clients know about their "saboteur," "inner critic," "gremlin"...it goes by so many names! And gadzooks, they're ugly critters. But they're not you, which is vital to know. Your saboteur/gremlin/inner critic/whatever is a result of so many "shoulds" that have been heaped on over a lifetime by family, friends, bosses, culture, media, etc. "You should look this way." "You should have this much money." "You shouldn't want that." Slowly, over time, your essential, higher self got covered up by those shoulds, and your saboteur--who takes its orders directly from the land of Should--was born.
Regardless of its name, or what your particular version looks like, we all have this sabotoging voice inside that sometimes whispers, sometimes screams, sometimes beats us up internally. Its most important jobs? To keep us "safe" (in its perspective), to maintain the status quo (at all costs), and to keep us unempowered.
Here's the "safe" part. Imagine yourself as a small child. One day, you toddle over to an outlet on the wall, stick your finger partway inside, and OUCH! You get a shock! The next time you toddle over, a protective voice inside your head says, "Stay away from that! You'll get hurt like last time if you don't!" This voice helped us all navigate the tumultuous terrain of growing up, but the problem is, once we grew into adulthood and were perfectly capable of making those "safety" calls on our own, that voice never went away. In fact, the older we got, and the more capable we got, the more dramatic and loud it got. (Capability scares it, you see.) So, does something like this sound familiar? "Who am I to think I could have that career/relationship/ place to live/etc.? Last time I applied for a new position/asked someone out/looked at my finances, it all went terribly and all I got was more stuck, so I might as well not even try...blah blah blah." That, my friends, is your saboteur in overdrive, holding you back.
And how about that "status quo" part? "Well, my job's okay. I mean, who am I to want more when so many have so little? So my boss is kind of a jerk, and the hours really are grueling, and I don't have any balance in the rest of my life...at least I don't have to go through the stress and rejection of looking for a new job. Even though what's here now isn't great, it's good enough...blah blah blah." Hello, gremlin!
Oh yes, and "unempowered." As long as your saboteur is operating in stealth mode, driving the bus of your life and whizzing right past your higher self time and time again, then you, my friend, are unempowered in your life.
So what to do? Step 1: bring that sucker out into the light. Saboteurs/gremlins/inner critics LIKE the cover of darkness. They do their best work there. So start listening. Really pay attention to the internal dialogue that goes on throughout your days. What are the circumstances that cause your gremlin to come out in force? When does it, in its uber-sneaky way, whisper so quietly you can barely hear it, but its there nonetheless? And what happens to YOU when it shows up?
Becoming aware of this inner voice and how it holds you back is the first step toward empowerment, because when you become aware of it, then you can be at choice about it. Awareness brings the ability to choose something different, either in the moment or next time, and that's a sure sign you're on the road to the fantastic life and incredible YOU that are waiting.
