THE KEY to New Year's Goals & Resolutions

Guess what everybody? Great news! I'VE GOT THE KEY to those pesky dropped New Year's resolutions! I've got the answer to the problem of unmet New Year's goals! It's here! It's now! It's powerful!

Are you ready? Can you stand the suspense? Here it is...

Don't make 'em.

That's right. You heard me. I am a life coach, and I am telling you, don't make 'em. Don't make resolutions. Don't make goals. Instead? Make intentions.

"What the heck is an intention?" The wheels of your inquisitive mind are already spinning, I can tell. "How are they really any different than resolutions or goals? Isn't this just a play on words?"

Let me promise you, as a former corporate communications mistress-of-spin, no, it's not just a play on words, and yes, it is different! Here's the difference, according to our good friends at www.websters.com:

Goal: "the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim; end."

Resolution: "the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc."

Intention: "purpose or attitude toward the effect of one's actions or conduct"

Goals are all about aims and ends. What's the target? What will you do/by when/how's it going to be measured? Resolutions are goals but with an added focus on the course of action. What'll happen, and how will it get done? Intentions, however, start at a deeper place. There's purpose involved, and perspective. Intentions ask, what's the deep need in you that's calling out to be met? And, how will you show up for the process of meeting that need?

Here's an example. Like bajillions of other well-meaning people, I want to exercise more, and I've resolved to do that about a bajillion times, at New Year's and other times of the year, too. So a goal might be, "by this time next year, I'll be healthy, fit, and will and have lower cholesterol from exercising." Ta da! Easy to say, but there's not much meat on those bones. A resolution about it might be, "I will exercise four times each week so I can be healthy, fit and have lower cholesterol." That's better, "how" focused, and perhaps admirable, but still, so, so easy to say, so, so hard to stick to.

So what if I turned instead toward my intentions? Starting with purpose, looking at both how I want to be on the way to doing what I want to do? Here's how that looks different:

"My life purpose drives me to want to be around for the long haul. I've got so much to do here, and my perspective is that 'to do all I want to do, my vehicle (a.k.a. my physical body) has to be in top performing mode for many years to come!' For that to be effortless and easy, I step into this year as Laura the Woman (vs. the little girl...I'm the youngest of seven and it's easy to unconsciously slip into 'little girl' mode). Standing in this place, as an adult, I take full responsibility for my health and for infusing my life with fun and vibrancy. The foods I choose are colorful, fresh, and healthy. I regularly prepare my and my family's meals with attentiveness and love, and I seek out exhilarating, physically challenging ways to exercise 4-5 times every week. I walk my own talk about health and fulfillment, and glow from the inside and the outside as a result!"

Dang! Now that's something I can get behind!

Seriously, though, do you feel the pull that intentions can create when they're grounded in purpose, even values, the things that are ultimately driving you in your life? Even if you don't know exactly what your exact purpose or values might be, what keeps you fighting for your life? What's the deeper, more resonant reason for doing anything good for yourself? What's the larger reason for you in this world? Start there. (And if that's a stumper, watch "It's a Wonderful Life" for inspiration!)

And how do you choose to show up for all of that? Notice above that I'm very "intentional" about the person I'm being when I'm in this space of health and wellness. Showing up unconsciously, as my little girl self, might mean that I approach my health in a more silly, playful way. Not always a problem in and of itself--in fact, it might offer some great stuff--but I know that, for me, it also means that I can skip out on my responsibilities without being aware of the consequence. Not the best stance to take when setting a serious intention!

So I hope this is helpful as you look toward the next year. It's about looking at the whole tamale: the deep, driving force, the "who you're being," and finally, the "what you'll do."

One thing I know for sure: in our culture, it's next to impossible to not get to the "doing"...the goals, the aims and ends, so don't worry about not finding actions to fill your days. They're a given. What gets short shrift, though, is the "being" on the way to the "doing," and focusing there first. When you do, suddenly all the items on your to-do lists come from a much more grounded, meaningful place and you can't imagine not checking them off! And, as a result, they'll stay on your active "to-do" for good.