Hello!
One thing I've learned in the past year or two is the power of asking for/stating what I want. And right now, I want and need rest! This has been an extremely busy year, and at the moment we're still in the midst of packing up the old house, fixing up the new house, and there are still a few weeks of limbo in front of us as we slowly transition to our new space. As such, I'll officially be taking a break from the blog for a few weeks, and I'll *really* be "back in action" in mid-September!
I'll leave you with one thing for now...just a tidbit to chew on:
What is it to "be what you seek"?
TTFN!
Friday, August 31, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Back In Action!
(Note: yet again, blogspot seems to have short-circuited when it comes to paragraph spacing. I apologize for the big block of black text that is today's entry! Arg!)
August is proving to be a challenging, full-spectrum-of-experience month for me. Do you ever have those weeks or months when it seems like so much happens all at once?
I could give you the litany...the laundry list of stuff like long-distance friends visiting, step-father passing away, babies being born, mortgage almost not going through at the 11th hour, etc. etc. etc. But we all have our laundry lists, don't we? And the question is, how do we hold up amidst all the chaos? What is it to remain still, deeply breathing, and at choice within all the noise?
Bliss, I'm guessing, though I've only experienced moments of it! We're all human beans on this crazy ride, trying to figure it out and learn as we go, sharing our gleanings when we can.
Thankfully, my partner Robert seems to be able to "stand in the centre of the fire...and not shrink back" when I'm practically a raving, stress-riddled blob on the floor. And I do the same for him. Sometimes, when he's not here, one of my cats will step up and remind me that it IS possible to have some perspective in the middle of the wildness. "Hey," they seem to say, as they balefully stare, "this moment's just this moment. That's all. Sure, there's a lot of stuff going on right now, but we'll get through it. And no matter what, you'll still get up and feed me in the morning. And you can still scratch my chin right now. There's constancy here, you just need to remember it, and get yourself out of your crazy brain by DOING something! Like scratching me!"
So, speaking of all this and of learning and sharing and growing, one of the things I've just been DOING (thank you, kitty!) is building and posting my new "More In You" storefront, where you can peruse all the groovy partial/whole day workshops and full weekend retreats I have in the offing. They're all designed to help you deepen your insight and awareness of yourself, your habits, your life, and your choices. And you can very easily and securely pay for any and all of the offerings you want to register for right through the site. So check it out!
And remember to breeeeathe...
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
"I don't know"...or do you?
I was interviewed yesterday by someone who's writing a book about the phrase, "I don't know." Yup, that's right...it's a book about not knowing, kinda like Seinfeld was a sitcom about nothing! The researcher/writer is an long-time, dear, totally badass friend, and her questions really made me dig deep into this territory of "not knowing."
I've personally had a love-hate relationship with not knowing for lots of years now. It's been an either-or, light or dark kind of thing. I've got deeply ingrained scripts that say stuff like, "if you don't know, then you're just stupid!" They talk all about how to know = to be valued, and if I'm not valued, I'll end up penniless and all alone, a bag lady pushing a grocery cart full of grimey clothes and a few survival-related possessions down Trade Street in Charlotte.
Now really, is that going to happen?
Hardly!
As a coach, here's what I'm learning from my fabulous clients about not knowing...
We DO know! And, there's a really blissed out, beautiful place of not knowing inside all of us, too. And, knowing and not knowing can really do an amazing dance together!
So are ya totally confused yet? Let me explain:
What we DO know: Every single one of us has what can be referred to as "gut feel," "intuition," "deep knowing," "internal radar," etc. It goes by lots of names, but each one points to our own, unique, individual, just-what's-true-for-me North on our inner compass. In our insanely fast-paced culture, we're not terribly used to slowing down enough to hear or notice what it's saying, much less then listen to what it's saying, much less trust what it's saying, much less act on what it's saying. That's the bravest place of all...hearing, listening, trusting, and then...and then...ACTING on what our deepest self knows and wants and is pointing us toward. It's the choice that sometimes seems crazy, and gets written off as "not practical" or "ridiculous." And it's always where the marrow of life resides for us, just waiting. So yep, you've got it. I've got it. Your mom has it, and your best friend, and the cashier at the grocery store you interacted with last night. As long as we have our faculties around us, and our survival needs are met, we have access to that deep knowing. And much of our angst and suffering comes from ignoring it.
One of my clients simply had to start hearing her kneejerk "I don't know" answer to most of my questions to realize how disempowering and subtle its hold was over her. That phrase alone, in its sneaky way, was muffling her ability to really tap into her inner wisdom about life, choices, direction, desire. She's on the path now, though!
What we DON'T know: And oh, the flip side of the coin! Not knowing. Adventurous not knowing...Trusting not knowing...Faith-filled not knowing...all sorts of not knowing. Lots of the Eastern religions practice non-attachment, e.g., taking action out of a deep-knowing urge, but not manipulating or being dependent on the outcome, and, in fact, completely releasing the outcome. And often we Westerners turn to our "faith in God" and "his plan" when we look ahead and just can't tell what's coming next. Sometimes we listen to our guts and leave a job or relationship, and it leaves a big, uncomfortable, sometimes scary gap. What's going to fill it? "I don't know!" Our kneejerk reaction is to vote that "I don't know" is a bad place to be, so quick quick, fill that space with another job! Any job! Just get a job! Or just find someone! Anyone! But what if, instead, we allowed ourselves to sit quietly in that space? See what's there? Become friends with it? Invite it in, and even, maybe, invite it to expand a little?
So how do these two mix? Here's one way that I see. As stated before, I believe we all have a strong internal compass. And I know we are all capable of acting on it, "following our bliss," as Joseph Campbell would urge. So, we can take the next right step. What will come after that? We don't know! And isn't that great? Because we can trust that when we get there, we can slow down, check in, and follow our instincts to the next right step after that, and the next right step after that...
What if, at the end, you could look back over life and see that you got to where you were because of countless "next right steps"? Life would be a "known adventure," all along the way!
So, dear reader...
What do you know about your life today? Your job? That relationship? Your health? Etc.?
What's the next right thing?
Are you brave enough to listen?
To hear?
To trust?
And to ACT?
I know you are!
And what's next? Who knows! And that's the best adventure of all.
I've personally had a love-hate relationship with not knowing for lots of years now. It's been an either-or, light or dark kind of thing. I've got deeply ingrained scripts that say stuff like, "if you don't know, then you're just stupid!" They talk all about how to know = to be valued, and if I'm not valued, I'll end up penniless and all alone, a bag lady pushing a grocery cart full of grimey clothes and a few survival-related possessions down Trade Street in Charlotte.
Now really, is that going to happen?
Hardly!
As a coach, here's what I'm learning from my fabulous clients about not knowing...
We DO know! And, there's a really blissed out, beautiful place of not knowing inside all of us, too. And, knowing and not knowing can really do an amazing dance together!
So are ya totally confused yet? Let me explain:
What we DO know: Every single one of us has what can be referred to as "gut feel," "intuition," "deep knowing," "internal radar," etc. It goes by lots of names, but each one points to our own, unique, individual, just-what's-true-for-me North on our inner compass. In our insanely fast-paced culture, we're not terribly used to slowing down enough to hear or notice what it's saying, much less then listen to what it's saying, much less trust what it's saying, much less act on what it's saying. That's the bravest place of all...hearing, listening, trusting, and then...and then...ACTING on what our deepest self knows and wants and is pointing us toward. It's the choice that sometimes seems crazy, and gets written off as "not practical" or "ridiculous." And it's always where the marrow of life resides for us, just waiting. So yep, you've got it. I've got it. Your mom has it, and your best friend, and the cashier at the grocery store you interacted with last night. As long as we have our faculties around us, and our survival needs are met, we have access to that deep knowing. And much of our angst and suffering comes from ignoring it.
One of my clients simply had to start hearing her kneejerk "I don't know" answer to most of my questions to realize how disempowering and subtle its hold was over her. That phrase alone, in its sneaky way, was muffling her ability to really tap into her inner wisdom about life, choices, direction, desire. She's on the path now, though!
What we DON'T know: And oh, the flip side of the coin! Not knowing. Adventurous not knowing...Trusting not knowing...Faith-filled not knowing...all sorts of not knowing. Lots of the Eastern religions practice non-attachment, e.g., taking action out of a deep-knowing urge, but not manipulating or being dependent on the outcome, and, in fact, completely releasing the outcome. And often we Westerners turn to our "faith in God" and "his plan" when we look ahead and just can't tell what's coming next. Sometimes we listen to our guts and leave a job or relationship, and it leaves a big, uncomfortable, sometimes scary gap. What's going to fill it? "I don't know!" Our kneejerk reaction is to vote that "I don't know" is a bad place to be, so quick quick, fill that space with another job! Any job! Just get a job! Or just find someone! Anyone! But what if, instead, we allowed ourselves to sit quietly in that space? See what's there? Become friends with it? Invite it in, and even, maybe, invite it to expand a little?
So how do these two mix? Here's one way that I see. As stated before, I believe we all have a strong internal compass. And I know we are all capable of acting on it, "following our bliss," as Joseph Campbell would urge. So, we can take the next right step. What will come after that? We don't know! And isn't that great? Because we can trust that when we get there, we can slow down, check in, and follow our instincts to the next right step after that, and the next right step after that...
What if, at the end, you could look back over life and see that you got to where you were because of countless "next right steps"? Life would be a "known adventure," all along the way!
So, dear reader...
What do you know about your life today? Your job? That relationship? Your health? Etc.?
What's the next right thing?
Are you brave enough to listen?
To hear?
To trust?
And to ACT?
I know you are!
And what's next? Who knows! And that's the best adventure of all.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Deeply Rooted
What would you find if you unpacked your life?
We're moving to a new house in about six weeks, and today I dipped my toe into the "purge and pack" process. It started in the attic...a place I haven't set foot in since Christmas. It's dirty up there, with lots of ancient, powdery insulation creating a fine, dark-brown dust on most of the boxes that have lived there since I moved into this house almost six years ago. It was also HOT! Well over 100 degrees. Sweat poured off of me after about ten minutes in the heat. I was physically purging sweat as I got to work, determined to sort through and purge the contents of those boxes.
I noticed that much of what was up there was stuff I hadn't looked at or thought about in years. I'm typically someone who's pretty cut and dried about things like, "if I haven't worn it in a year, it gets donated. No question!" So I expected to haul down loads of "trash." And yet, and yet...lots of what I found today is stuff I'm not willing to let go of. It's like I unearthed some of my historical DNA.
There are photos.
And voice recordings.
And files.
And journals.
Plans for my childhood home.
Books from my childhood life.
And lots more that I could list but that probably wouldn't mean much to anyone but me.
I know I'm going to have to defend my choices to my dear one, the man who will be moving a lot of those still-heavy boxes. I know I'll have to justify wanting to keep things that will likely go straight into the storage space in our new home. But the thing is, today I reconnected with my roots, with that historical DNA that shapes the outlines of who I am and that fills in lots of the colors of me. Sure, I've added lots to the outlines and colors through the years and have expanded outside the lines, even. But today I brushed up against my touchstone. The ghosts of me and so many loved ones were swirling and whispering, reminding me that though every day I walk into the world afresh, looking at life anew, wondering what's next, I am forever deeply rooted in a past that I could no more purge than I could purge my own bones.
So, dear reader, what might you find if you unpacked your life?
Try it. You might be surprise what's waiting.
We're moving to a new house in about six weeks, and today I dipped my toe into the "purge and pack" process. It started in the attic...a place I haven't set foot in since Christmas. It's dirty up there, with lots of ancient, powdery insulation creating a fine, dark-brown dust on most of the boxes that have lived there since I moved into this house almost six years ago. It was also HOT! Well over 100 degrees. Sweat poured off of me after about ten minutes in the heat. I was physically purging sweat as I got to work, determined to sort through and purge the contents of those boxes.
I noticed that much of what was up there was stuff I hadn't looked at or thought about in years. I'm typically someone who's pretty cut and dried about things like, "if I haven't worn it in a year, it gets donated. No question!" So I expected to haul down loads of "trash." And yet, and yet...lots of what I found today is stuff I'm not willing to let go of. It's like I unearthed some of my historical DNA.
There are photos.
And voice recordings.
And files.
And journals.
Plans for my childhood home.
Books from my childhood life.
And lots more that I could list but that probably wouldn't mean much to anyone but me.
I know I'm going to have to defend my choices to my dear one, the man who will be moving a lot of those still-heavy boxes. I know I'll have to justify wanting to keep things that will likely go straight into the storage space in our new home. But the thing is, today I reconnected with my roots, with that historical DNA that shapes the outlines of who I am and that fills in lots of the colors of me. Sure, I've added lots to the outlines and colors through the years and have expanded outside the lines, even. But today I brushed up against my touchstone. The ghosts of me and so many loved ones were swirling and whispering, reminding me that though every day I walk into the world afresh, looking at life anew, wondering what's next, I am forever deeply rooted in a past that I could no more purge than I could purge my own bones.
So, dear reader, what might you find if you unpacked your life?
Try it. You might be surprise what's waiting.
Friday, July 6, 2007
A Dose of My Own Medicine
Well. I had a great session with my coach last week that I wanted to share.
("What?!" you ask, "Coaches have coaches, too?!" You'd better believe it! We're all works in progress, and having a coach who's been in the biz for over a decade keeps me growing and learning constantly, and keeps me in the "client seat" so I always have that perspective fresh in my mind when I'm coaching my own clients.)
Anyway, back to last week. I was all in a tither about money. Yep, the "M" word. What with a new career, fledgling business, life expenses, training/certification debt, new house payment coming, wedding to plan...aaagh! Calgon, take me away! That day, I was seriously considering telling this fabulous coach that I couldn't continue on because of money. And I was seriously considering telling two of my best friends that I couldn't go on a TOTALLY rockin' conference/cruise with them next spring because of money. And I was plaguing myself with trying to figure out how we can cut corners on our wedding because of money. And...and...and...you get the point.
Here's what my wonderful coach pointed out. I was letting my life be run by my fears around money. (And, I will point out that I wasn't taking my own medicine that day!) I was about to make some big decisions from a place of fear, versus from my values, my core, my essential self. Major no-no!
Today, instead, I sat down with my top ten values (things like honesty/integrity, personal growth/spirituality, adventure/risk taking, joy/fun/laughter, deeply connected relationships, etc.), and I asked myself, "What values am I honoring if I decide to complete my coaching with Marla?" I came up with a paltry two out of ten. Next question, "To what extent will I be honoring these two values if I complete with Marla?" Minimal. Then I asked, "If I complete with Marla, will I be moving closer to or farther from living my life in alignment with my values?" The answer: definitely farther from.
Then, I switched it up, asking, "What values am I honoring if I decide to continue my coaching with Marla?" Dingdingding! Nine out of ten! We have a winner! "To what extent?" Wow...8s, 9s and 10s across the board. And, "will I be moving closer to or farther from living my life in alignment with my values?" Well, you can guess the answer to that one.
I posed the same questions regarding the cruise and our wedding, to similar results!
Ultimately, Marla helped me clearly see that when I am trying to make decisions from a place of fear, that I'm not able to connect with who I truly am, what I truly want and need for a thriving life. Nor am I able to call upon my creativity, abundance mentality, excitement about the future, etc.
The coolest thing? Before I even finished the above exercise, ideas for expanding my business started pouring in, my excitement level skyrocketed, and I've already taken steps to act on my ideas. Energy in, energy out! :-D I LOVE THAT!
So, back to you, dear reader:
* Where are you being run by fears in your own life?
* If you chose instead to stand in the place of your highest values, how would you see your choices differently?
* How does making decisions from your values help you access your inner wisdom, your very own deep knowing about your life?
Don't let fulfillment pass you by while you're stuck in the quicksand of your fears. There's a branch being held out to you...it's called "your values," and your highest self is holding that puppy tight, ready to pull you back to terra firma! Sotake a deep breath, and reach out...
("What?!" you ask, "Coaches have coaches, too?!" You'd better believe it! We're all works in progress, and having a coach who's been in the biz for over a decade keeps me growing and learning constantly, and keeps me in the "client seat" so I always have that perspective fresh in my mind when I'm coaching my own clients.)
Anyway, back to last week. I was all in a tither about money. Yep, the "M" word. What with a new career, fledgling business, life expenses, training/certification debt, new house payment coming, wedding to plan...aaagh! Calgon, take me away! That day, I was seriously considering telling this fabulous coach that I couldn't continue on because of money. And I was seriously considering telling two of my best friends that I couldn't go on a TOTALLY rockin' conference/cruise with them next spring because of money. And I was plaguing myself with trying to figure out how we can cut corners on our wedding because of money. And...and...and...you get the point.
Here's what my wonderful coach pointed out. I was letting my life be run by my fears around money. (And, I will point out that I wasn't taking my own medicine that day!) I was about to make some big decisions from a place of fear, versus from my values, my core, my essential self. Major no-no!
Today, instead, I sat down with my top ten values (things like honesty/integrity, personal growth/spirituality, adventure/risk taking, joy/fun/laughter, deeply connected relationships, etc.), and I asked myself, "What values am I honoring if I decide to complete my coaching with Marla?" I came up with a paltry two out of ten. Next question, "To what extent will I be honoring these two values if I complete with Marla?" Minimal. Then I asked, "If I complete with Marla, will I be moving closer to or farther from living my life in alignment with my values?" The answer: definitely farther from.
Then, I switched it up, asking, "What values am I honoring if I decide to continue my coaching with Marla?" Dingdingding! Nine out of ten! We have a winner! "To what extent?" Wow...8s, 9s and 10s across the board. And, "will I be moving closer to or farther from living my life in alignment with my values?" Well, you can guess the answer to that one.
I posed the same questions regarding the cruise and our wedding, to similar results!
Ultimately, Marla helped me clearly see that when I am trying to make decisions from a place of fear, that I'm not able to connect with who I truly am, what I truly want and need for a thriving life. Nor am I able to call upon my creativity, abundance mentality, excitement about the future, etc.
The coolest thing? Before I even finished the above exercise, ideas for expanding my business started pouring in, my excitement level skyrocketed, and I've already taken steps to act on my ideas. Energy in, energy out! :-D I LOVE THAT!
So, back to you, dear reader:
* Where are you being run by fears in your own life?
* If you chose instead to stand in the place of your highest values, how would you see your choices differently?
* How does making decisions from your values help you access your inner wisdom, your very own deep knowing about your life?
Don't let fulfillment pass you by while you're stuck in the quicksand of your fears. There's a branch being held out to you...it's called "your values," and your highest self is holding that puppy tight, ready to pull you back to terra firma! Sotake a deep breath, and reach out...
Friday, June 29, 2007
Energy Out, Energy In!
WOW. I've experienced it before, but sometimes you forget, ya know?
I'm talkin' energy flow, people, and the belief that the energy we put out there comes right back at us. We reap what we sow, so to speak.
So here's a recent example from the life of moi: a few weeks ago, my dear partner, Robert, and I stumbled upon our dream home. We weren't looking, but when opportunity came knocking, we checked it out, instantly fell in love with the home and the surrounding space, and chose to dive in with an offer together! Right around this time, we also decided to get hitched. (Technically, he asked, and I said "yes!") Big stuff, right? I mean, I'm almost 37 and have never gotten married, nor have I bought a home by myself, much less with someone else.
What preceeded these two events, though, was an intense time of self-reflection, seeing and owning up to some painful truths about each of us as individuals and together in our relationship, and a decision to dig in, work hard, love harder, and see what happened. The energy we chose to put into our lives was full on, positive, "we can do this!" kinda juju. And look what we're getting back!
Along with all of this, for me, has also come bunches of fear, which was surprising. After all, when Prince Charming finally pops the question, we all live happily ever after, right? Rose petals and rainbows? Well, what I've found is that sure, I'm thrilled at the events of late. And, I'm terrified! And, there's no where else I'd rather be.
One of the fears has been financial. How the heck am I going to pay for my full half of this place, anyway? This past year has been one of intentional debt accrual (with coach training, my leadership program in California, getting certified, etc.), and Robert's wonderfully taken over our combined expenses for a while. Now the rubber's hitting the road, though...time to hike it all into high gear and not only pay for what I used to contribute (my half of utilities, groceries, etc.), but now there's a fat mortgage in there, too.
I panicked about this for a few days. The result? I felt sluggish, dazed, worried, and my jaw started aching and popping from all the mid-night clenching I was apparently engaged in. So, I made a decision. I could continue down the path I was on, which was getting me nowhere fast. OR, I could choose to put different energy into the situation. A few days ago, I chose the later. I chose to believe that there's no way the universe/god/goddess/etc. would have placed this amazing home in our laps if we also weren't going to be blessed with the means to be there. And I also chose to believe that we're not given what we're not up to dealing with. (And in that light, it's kind of an honor to have all this challenge before me; someone must thing I'm up to it!)
The result? As of today, I have a new client and three more potentials. They've all just appeared, as if "out of thin air." But I believe differently, because it's happened before. When my energy shifted, and I put positive energy out there, I got positive energy back. But the trick? It's got to be real. Totally. Completely. No niggling doubts!
So. Where are you in your life? C'mon...you've gotta be willing to really look. Where are you hanging on to potentially negative, small, stuck energy or fear? Where might you play with letting go of that perspective and choosing something new?
After all, our good friend Albert Einstein defined insanity as something like, "doing the same thing you've always done and expecting different results." My other personal favorite: "if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got." Maybe not grammatically perfect, but point made nonetheless!
Find that spot, big or small, where you're stuck, and choose to put different energy into it. If your intention is really true, I suspect you'll be blown away by what you get back!
I'm talkin' energy flow, people, and the belief that the energy we put out there comes right back at us. We reap what we sow, so to speak.
So here's a recent example from the life of moi: a few weeks ago, my dear partner, Robert, and I stumbled upon our dream home. We weren't looking, but when opportunity came knocking, we checked it out, instantly fell in love with the home and the surrounding space, and chose to dive in with an offer together! Right around this time, we also decided to get hitched. (Technically, he asked, and I said "yes!") Big stuff, right? I mean, I'm almost 37 and have never gotten married, nor have I bought a home by myself, much less with someone else.
What preceeded these two events, though, was an intense time of self-reflection, seeing and owning up to some painful truths about each of us as individuals and together in our relationship, and a decision to dig in, work hard, love harder, and see what happened. The energy we chose to put into our lives was full on, positive, "we can do this!" kinda juju. And look what we're getting back!
Along with all of this, for me, has also come bunches of fear, which was surprising. After all, when Prince Charming finally pops the question, we all live happily ever after, right? Rose petals and rainbows? Well, what I've found is that sure, I'm thrilled at the events of late. And, I'm terrified! And, there's no where else I'd rather be.
One of the fears has been financial. How the heck am I going to pay for my full half of this place, anyway? This past year has been one of intentional debt accrual (with coach training, my leadership program in California, getting certified, etc.), and Robert's wonderfully taken over our combined expenses for a while. Now the rubber's hitting the road, though...time to hike it all into high gear and not only pay for what I used to contribute (my half of utilities, groceries, etc.), but now there's a fat mortgage in there, too.
I panicked about this for a few days. The result? I felt sluggish, dazed, worried, and my jaw started aching and popping from all the mid-night clenching I was apparently engaged in. So, I made a decision. I could continue down the path I was on, which was getting me nowhere fast. OR, I could choose to put different energy into the situation. A few days ago, I chose the later. I chose to believe that there's no way the universe/god/goddess/etc. would have placed this amazing home in our laps if we also weren't going to be blessed with the means to be there. And I also chose to believe that we're not given what we're not up to dealing with. (And in that light, it's kind of an honor to have all this challenge before me; someone must thing I'm up to it!)
The result? As of today, I have a new client and three more potentials. They've all just appeared, as if "out of thin air." But I believe differently, because it's happened before. When my energy shifted, and I put positive energy out there, I got positive energy back. But the trick? It's got to be real. Totally. Completely. No niggling doubts!
So. Where are you in your life? C'mon...you've gotta be willing to really look. Where are you hanging on to potentially negative, small, stuck energy or fear? Where might you play with letting go of that perspective and choosing something new?
After all, our good friend Albert Einstein defined insanity as something like, "doing the same thing you've always done and expecting different results." My other personal favorite: "if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got." Maybe not grammatically perfect, but point made nonetheless!
Find that spot, big or small, where you're stuck, and choose to put different energy into it. If your intention is really true, I suspect you'll be blown away by what you get back!
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Bliss...Right Here, Right Now!
Yo, blog readers!
Following is a short article I wrote on spec for a magazine. They said, "Thanks, but no thanks!" So, I pass it on to you here instead of there! Enjoy!
Mmmmmm… bliss. The word alone conjures up images of a warm bubble bath, phone off the hook, decadent bonbons within arm’s reach, candles all aglow on every nearby surface, and perhaps even a hunky massage therapist at your beck and call, just itching for his cue. Can you say, “Calgon, take me away”?
Unfortunately, our prevailing culture often does say we have to “get away” to experience bliss. It’s the good old “if-then” paradigm. “If I plan a great getaway vacation, then I’ll be able to relax,” or “If I get a different job/relationship/hobby, then I’ll be able to have a balanced life,” or “If I work my butt off now, then I’ll have the life I really want when I retire.” It’s a paradigm that, by its very nature, staves off bliss. Hello, counter-productive! Oh, and by the way, no guarantees that the “then” part of the equation will ever actually happen. Often, in our mad-cap, you-are-what-you-do world, it’s simply replaced by another “if.”
So what’s a girl to do?
Happily, everyday bliss isn’t far away. Working through the following three steps can lead you to a life chock full of everyday moments of bliss.
1. What’s bliss to you? First and foremost, what makes you feel “blissed out”? Completely relaxed? All aglow like those bath-side candles? Awash in the savoring of a moment? There are as many ways to feel bliss as there are women reading these words. Figuring out what’s blissful to you is the first step in feeling it more!
2. Where are the gaps? Once you know what bliss is to you, look for the ways in which you might be staving it off. Maybe part of what’s blissful to you is savoring phenomenal food. So, what’s in your fridge? What restaurants do you frequent? Where do you “if/then” yourself around food? (“If I go to that great café, then I’ll be able to savor my food.”) Maybe bliss to you is being outside. So, how many days do you spend umpteen hours behind a desk, gazing longingly out the window, feeling like you’re stuck inside? It’s easy to unconsciously limit ourselves on a daily basis by not consciously weaving in a few moments of bliss. Where are the gaps in what’s bliss to you and the choices you make each day?
3. What’s possible? Once you see where your gaps are, brainstorms some ways you can add bliss into your daily mix. Maybe you let yourself indulge in a small square of high-octane organic dark chocolate after lunch each day, or you let yourself go to the Saturday farmer’s market and buy fresh, local fruit that you savor throughout the coming week, or you start a container garden so you can have your very own fresh cherry tomatoes and basil all summer long. Maybe you start parking a few blocks farther away from the office so that every workday starts and ends with a walk. Maybe you surprise the next person who comes to your office for a meeting by suggesting you walk and talk outside instead. Maybe you promise yourself five minutes outside each morning, no matter what. The possibilities are endless!
Despite the marketing savvy of our friends at Calgon, bliss doesn’t have to be a far-off concept. It’s available right here, right now, and it comes in your size, your flavor. All you have to do is see where it might live in your life today, and step toward it. I promise, it’ll be waiting there with open arms!
Following is a short article I wrote on spec for a magazine. They said, "Thanks, but no thanks!" So, I pass it on to you here instead of there! Enjoy!
Mmmmmm… bliss. The word alone conjures up images of a warm bubble bath, phone off the hook, decadent bonbons within arm’s reach, candles all aglow on every nearby surface, and perhaps even a hunky massage therapist at your beck and call, just itching for his cue. Can you say, “Calgon, take me away”?
Unfortunately, our prevailing culture often does say we have to “get away” to experience bliss. It’s the good old “if-then” paradigm. “If I plan a great getaway vacation, then I’ll be able to relax,” or “If I get a different job/relationship/hobby, then I’ll be able to have a balanced life,” or “If I work my butt off now, then I’ll have the life I really want when I retire.” It’s a paradigm that, by its very nature, staves off bliss. Hello, counter-productive! Oh, and by the way, no guarantees that the “then” part of the equation will ever actually happen. Often, in our mad-cap, you-are-what-you-do world, it’s simply replaced by another “if.”
So what’s a girl to do?
Happily, everyday bliss isn’t far away. Working through the following three steps can lead you to a life chock full of everyday moments of bliss.
1. What’s bliss to you? First and foremost, what makes you feel “blissed out”? Completely relaxed? All aglow like those bath-side candles? Awash in the savoring of a moment? There are as many ways to feel bliss as there are women reading these words. Figuring out what’s blissful to you is the first step in feeling it more!
2. Where are the gaps? Once you know what bliss is to you, look for the ways in which you might be staving it off. Maybe part of what’s blissful to you is savoring phenomenal food. So, what’s in your fridge? What restaurants do you frequent? Where do you “if/then” yourself around food? (“If I go to that great café, then I’ll be able to savor my food.”) Maybe bliss to you is being outside. So, how many days do you spend umpteen hours behind a desk, gazing longingly out the window, feeling like you’re stuck inside? It’s easy to unconsciously limit ourselves on a daily basis by not consciously weaving in a few moments of bliss. Where are the gaps in what’s bliss to you and the choices you make each day?
3. What’s possible? Once you see where your gaps are, brainstorms some ways you can add bliss into your daily mix. Maybe you let yourself indulge in a small square of high-octane organic dark chocolate after lunch each day, or you let yourself go to the Saturday farmer’s market and buy fresh, local fruit that you savor throughout the coming week, or you start a container garden so you can have your very own fresh cherry tomatoes and basil all summer long. Maybe you start parking a few blocks farther away from the office so that every workday starts and ends with a walk. Maybe you surprise the next person who comes to your office for a meeting by suggesting you walk and talk outside instead. Maybe you promise yourself five minutes outside each morning, no matter what. The possibilities are endless!
Despite the marketing savvy of our friends at Calgon, bliss doesn’t have to be a far-off concept. It’s available right here, right now, and it comes in your size, your flavor. All you have to do is see where it might live in your life today, and step toward it. I promise, it’ll be waiting there with open arms!
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